Food. And Pounds. 137 pounds to be precise. At five foot one. Never been fatter, thanks to food the nightmare is becoming my daily reality. My clothes don't fit, my body doesn't even fit. My skin shouldn't fit but it gets bigger as I do. Because of food. Because of corned beef Reuben with sauerkraut and salad with oil based dressing and crusty fresh bread rolls and baked potato skins and cookie dough and cookies and fruit and candies and everything I can find!

I used to be the smallest girl in the room, no matter which room I entered pretty much. A hundred nine pounds only and all my clothes were loose and my feet never hurt because they hardly had a thing to carry and I enjoyed my life. Wasn't cramped inside this overstuffed skin. Now I'm so padded the obsession can't even reach me through the fat. And I hate it.

Every day is another day I can't live with this, like this, another day worth wasting. I won't want to remember this crap. I want to forget these days and go back to me, 109, a number worth noticing.

Goodbye, food.