I suppose I am one of the lucky... for some reason - my doctor said it's because I weigh 100 pounds - I don't get cramps. Hell I wouldn't even KNOW if I was bleeding if I didn't have birth control telling me on green pill that the dreadful red is comming. I'm not complaining, lord no. I'm just stating that I'm rather content with my period.

Cramps, I've heard, can be quite a bitch. I count my blessings to have never gone through them.

Blue square dude, they have these wizard types called doctors. Go see one before your juhbbilees spin around six times real fast, or something.

I'd like to think I might know what having cramps is like....

One of my testicals... I don't know what exactly goes wrong, but about once a month or so ...something.... goes wrong with one of my testicals.

I've had it checked, its not cancer or anything (thank god)
I think it's something wrong with the tube that attaches it... like maybe its the beginnings of testicular tortion, but gets unspinned before it gets really bad like swelling up like a grapefruit and shit.

In any case, I call them my man cramps.
I can't do anything but sit in the bathroom massaging my balls and trying not to throw up 'cause of that "kicked in the junk feeling" that doesn't go away for hours.


Actually, its like in that episode of the Venture Brothers where Dean suffers from testicular tortion and cries out "It's like I got kicked in the junk but they never took their foot away!"
It's like that, only without the initial kick feeling.... just that godamn nausea and pain that comes with it, only lasting nearly all day.


More than you wanted to know about me, huh?



edit -
As I did say above - I have seen doctors about it. They said there's nothing they can do about it unless it gets worse, and I always fix it before it does, so... they are of no use.

I hate being a girl. Guys don't ever have to go through anything like this. No matter what, guys get off easy. I don't care what a male goes through in his life. It is nothing compared to a female.